Beginner BDSM
Tori Douglas on Sep 19th 2019
BDSM is becoming more and more mainstream. If you are curious about dipping your toe into a little light bondage or erotic spanking, remember to put the safety of yourself and your partners first. Here is a quick and dirty start-up guide to beginner BDSM.
Let’s start with the most important element of any sexual encounter, consent. Always discuss introducing new sexual play or scenarios with your partner or partners. BDSM play in particular is dependant on consent and trust between participants. Take the time to discuss limits, especially hard limits that are dependent on physical, emotional, or psychological issues. Establish and practice safe words. Take a look at our article about where to start with
Once everyone is on board, maybe you want to start with a little erotic spanking. For beginners, always use a bare hand, and work up to tools like paddles or floggers as all partners learn their limits. It is not necessary to limit yourself to just the rear end, but, especially for the novice, certain areas should be avoided to reduce the chance of injury.
-Kidneys: The kidneys are located in the area of the back between the bottom of the ribcage and the top of the butt.
-Tailbone: The tailbone is located at the base of the spine, it can be cracked or broken if hit.
-Hips: The sides of the cheeks and along the hip bones, where several nerves are located.
-Spine: The spine, has several small bones that can be cracked or bruised.
-Neck: The neck is a very sensitive area where many major arteries, tendons, glands, and lymph nodes are located, not to mention the larynx.
-Face: Although face slapping is a popular kink, avoid hitting this area of the body until you are experienced. There are many sensitive areas such as sinuses, eyes, lips, cheekbones. They can be easily and permanently injured.
-Ears: Hitting someone on the ears can cause permanent damage to their hearing or sense of balance.
Next, let’s try a little light bondage. Start with cute, fuzzy cuffs or leather cuffs that open easily from
. If tying up is your thing, start with light bindings such as scarves or stockings. Use slip knots or other easy to release knots to add a level of mental comfort, and keep scissors nearby for easy release. Work up to more sturdy materials and knots or bondage techniques as you become comfortable.
If choking appeals to you, tread lightly to begin and watch your technique. Apply pressure to the carotid artery, on the side of the throat, just under the jaw. Put pressure on one or both sides, but avoid the larynx in the center. Do not lean in and put weight into it. The delicate structures of the neck are not meant to hold that much weight.
As stated above, the most important facet of any BDSM scene is consent. Be aware of your partners comfort and enjoyment, and see where the rabbit hole takes you.