You must have heard the phrase "Life is a journey, not a destination". The same is absolutely true for sex. The journey of sex, the pleasure and the intimacy, can sometimes become a racetrack instead of a leisurely stroll. So much of the time we get caught up in achieving orgasm, or in some cases multiple orgasms, that it seems like a frantic race to the finish line. While this frenetic energy is great when that is what you are feeling for that particular session, and certainly has its place in your sexual life, sometimes it can be nice to slow it down.

Especially for women, the orgasm can be complicated, and sometimes elusive. Men can also feel pressure to orgasm or keep an erection for extended periods of time. The pressure to orgasm when there is difficulty in that arena, can add to this pressure and make it even harder to achieve orgasm for many women. Being able to relax and just enjoy the pleasure and intimacy of sex might be hard for some. Here are some tips to enjoy the journey, regardless of the destination.

* Enjoy sexual activity, outside of the actual sex.

This can also be a great relationship builder. Bringing physical affection and contact out of the bedroom, and away from the actual act of sexual consummation. This can be as simple as holding hands, or as daring as a little ass or crotch grabbing out in the world.

* Masturbate

Touching yourself is a fantastic way to get to know what you like and dislike. Take the attitude that this is just another sexual act you can enjoy, even if you do not orgasm. This can help normalize sexual pleasure without the goal of orgasm for you, helping to take away the thought every sexual act should end in orgasm.

* Have a make-out session.

Most of us, especially if we are in a long term relationship, have probably not had a flat out make-out session in a while. Take the time to just kiss and caress, fully clothed, with no expectation of sex beyond that. This lets you really experience the sensations of just kissing and touching, letting your body respond to the stimulation.

* Remove the pressure of having to orgasm.

This can be a tough one, especially if you have difficulty achieving orgasm. Taking the pressue off of yourself and your partner to ‘finish’ can go a long way to letting you enjoy the moments of sex, regardless of whether the "big moment" happens or not. Allow yourself permission to enjoy sex and sexual pleasure without reaching orgasm. Again, it is helpful to normalize pleasure without orgasm in your thought process.

While orgasms are wonderful, they are not the be-all-end-all of the sexual experience. Letting yourself and your partner or partners experience pleasure and intimacy without the self imposed pressure of achieving orgasm is a gift for you both. Take control of your sexual journey and enjoy the ride.