Sex and Body Image
Tori Douglas on Dec 15th 2020
We all have a certain way we see ourselves. If we are lucky, we are seeing what is truly reflected in our mirror, and liking what we see. For many people, however, their body image is negative. This disparity effects many areas of a persons life, including their sex life and possible sexual dysfunction. Especially in women, but also in men, how we see our body affects our sexuality and sexual desire. If we do not feel sexy and desirable, it usually means we are not going to feel like having sex.
The reasons for low body image or low sexual self esteem are many and varied. They can range from concerns about weight, aging, or general body shape and fitness to issues of body bumps, scars, or discoloration. We all go through times when we feel "off". Females may feel bloated at certain times of the month, making our clothes feel tight and leading to feelings of discomfort. This physical issue can lead to feeling mentally " off" as well. These kinds of low points are normal in our cycles of mental health. The problem lies in the prolonged times of this low body image. These times can disrupt our cycles of arousal and desire and stop our sex life in it’s tracks.
In our society, which is increasingly obsessed with the photoshopped perfection of the human face and form, it is easy enough to fall into the mindset that you do not measure up to the standard. Here are some tips to change that mindset and see yourself in a better light.
* Look around at others and see yourself.
See that hot blonde over there? You two may share the same mouth or eye shape. That guy with the great shoulders, maybe you have the same great broad shoulders and big hands. Look around at what you like about other people, and compare those positive attributes to yourself.
* Cultivate positive self talk.
We all get down on ourselves, and can sometimes be our own worst critic. Begin today to change that conversation with yourself. If you can not start with your looks, start with something you did right today, and move on from there. Even just complimenting yourself on your outfit of the day can open the door to more positive self talk, and a more positive self image.
* Get your partner involved.
Compliments are always nice. You should never depend on others for your self esteem, but having someone to hype you up a little sometimes is a powerful thing. Letting your partner know you are feeling uncomfortable in your skin, and could use a little verbal and emotional boost can help you get the self esteem ball rolling in the right direction.
* Take care of yourself
If you are feeling less than desirable in your body, take the time to pamper yourself. Drink plenty of water, get plenty of sleep, and try to use your body to get some exercise. Your body is more than the vehicle to pilot you around, it is the instrument of your pleasure. Try to keep it in good working order, and it will reward you when the time comes to get sexual.