The best tool you have for both sexual health and satisfaction is your voice. Communication is the most important aspect for a safe, healthy, and fulfilling sex life. The 1st step to this is, of course, making your health and sexual life important enough to speak up. Making yourself a priority in sexual relationships and encounters is the best way to keep yourself healthy and satisfied. It says more about you than your choice of partner if you are not comfortable enough to insist on safe sex practices like condoms, dental dams, and other barrier methods. It's just as important to speak up about what you like or don't like in a sexual experience.. Taking your sexual health and needs seriously can not only keep you and your partner healthy but also elevate your sexual pleasure. If you feel you cannot express your needs and wants to your partner, you might want to rethink your choice of partner.

Being unable to voice your needs to a sexual partner may be an indication that your not making yourself a priority. This exposes you to a great deal of risk, even in a casual, one time encounter. Your health and pleasure should always be important to you. This is the ultimate in self care. This can, at the very least, cause an undue risk to exposure to STI's and an unsatisfactory sex life. In the worst case scenario lead to being vulnerable to both sexually transmitted infections and to sexual violence. Communication and respect go hand in hand. Be aware and vocal about any issues, fears, or reservations about yourself, your partner, and your expectations. Never be afraid of passing on a partner or encounter if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Your health and well being is more important than being “nice” or disappointing anyone. A moment of awkwardness is worth avoiding harming yourself or allowing yourself to be harmed.

Even in a monogamous relationship, sexually transmitted infections are possible. Several STI’s can lie dormant, without any symptoms, for months or years before becoming symptomatic or infectious. Viral infections like HIV, HPV, gonorrhea, hepatitis, and herpes can be contracted and show no symptoms. Testing between partners is vitally important, as is knowing the testing status of new partners. Other infections like trichomoniasis and molluscum contagiosum can be spread initially through casual contact, sharing clothes, or through contaminated towels or implements in gyms or waxing salons. Being upfront about testing status can lead to prevention and early treatment.

Honest communication with healthcare providers is an important secondary line of defense. No responsible health care provider will be shocked or judgemental about any sexual health questions or concerns you raise. They have seen it all, and treated it all. Never let fear of judgement or ridicule keep you from complete disclosure of any medical issues or concerns. Report any signs or symptoms of STI’s or sexual dysfunction as soon as possible, and never downplay symptoms. Furthermore, any health care provider is trained and ready to assist you if you feel unsafe in any way in your relationship.

Communication is key, make sure to make it a priority in your sexual life and health. Reach out to Badd Kitty staff for ideas and strategies for sexual communication. For more information please see the links below.

UC Davis

Sexuality and Sexual Health