The Big O
Tori Douglas on Oct 19th 2020
Whether solo or with a partner or partners, most of us go into the act of sex with the goal of achieving orgasm. Orgasm can be different for everyone, and time should be taken to learn not only about what your partner or partners need and want to achieve climax, but you should be familiar with your own needs and wants as well.
Males and females have a wide difference, not only in building toward and reaching orgasm, but also the recovery or "refractory" period afterwards. As recently as the 1970’s, many medical professionals still regarded the female orgasm as a myth. Thankfully, in these modern times women have taken their own pleasure as a priority, just as much as men. Getting to know how orgasm happens can help you reach that big O.
Let’s start at the beginning of the four recognized phases of orgasm. The beginnings of an orgasm is known as the excitement phase. Unsurprisingly, this period is usually longer in women than men, as it typically takes women longer to reach orgasm. In this phase, physiological changes such as higher pulse, faster breathing, and higher blood pressure begin. In women, blood vessels dilate, causing flushing of the skin. In men, blood begins to fill the penis, causing erection. The scrotum also tightens and draws in toward the body.
In the next phase, plateau, the body is preparing for the orgasm. In women, breast size can increase up to 25 percent due to increased blood flow into the breast tissue. The clitoris also retreats back against the pubic bone. In males the glans and testicles similarly increase with blood flow and enlarge.
The third phase is the actual orgasm. This phase presents the most differences between men and women. In women, the muscles of the pelvic floor, as well as the uterus, begin contracting rhythmically. The female orgasm lasts from around 13 seconds to just under a minute, much longer than her male partner. The biggest difference between the male and female orgasm is the physical and biological response. In men, the orgasm is accompanied by ejaculation of semen. The ejaculation is caused by contractions of the pelvic muscles, the prostate, and the vas deferens. Orgasm in males lasts from 10-30 seconds. Some women produce an ejaculate as well , but this is far less common.
In the final phase of resolution, there is further difference between men and women. As mentioned above, women do not need a "recovery" phase and are immediately able to begin the orgasm phases again. In contrast, men must recover and further orgasm is not immediately possible. This refractory period in men can last from a few minutes to a few days, depending on the person. This period usually lengthens with age. The penis and testicles in men, and breasts in women, return to their resting size at this time. In both men and women, breathing and pulse gradually return to normal.
Knowing the mechanics of the orgasm can help take a little of the mystery out of the process. See our blog post about getting to know your likes and wants to learn more about yourself and your own orgasm.