Dirty Talk
Tori Douglas on Dec 1st 2021
When we have sex, or are just sexually aroused, we start with our brains. The information we take in from our senses begins the arousal process. This is a big reason that studies have shown up to 90% of us are turned on by dirty talk in some form or another. This is very subjective, however and it can be likely that the wrong kind of talk can just as easily turn your partner off completely. So, what are the magic words?
Why does it work? Our brain is our number one erroneous zone. The amygdala and the hypothalamus are spurred into sensual action first, and dirty talk can help get us there. It can create that pleasure reaction that gets our motor running, even before we have taken off an article of clothing or have been touched. Dirty talk gets the imagination engaged in sexual thoughts, linking this to sexual activity can put things into overdrive.It can also be a release. When the pump is primed by sex, and we feel the intimacy sex creates, our deeper thoughts are more likely to slip out. You might not have ever thought you were into talking dirty until it slipped out of either you or your partner in an orgasmic moment and it just felt right.
Start out slow with dirty talk. You do not want to come out of the gate too hot and heavy. Being too aggressive or intimate too soon can be a turn off. Starting off with simply showing your approval by moaning or a quick "yes" can get the ball rolling nicely. Next move on to describing the action, asking if it feels good, or asking for a certain touch or action from your partner. Saying your partner's name or a non-specific pet name like "baby" can also be great.Especially if you are feeling a little embarrassed or vulnerable about it, starting slow and working up to being more talkative during sex can help it feel more natural.
Moving forward from this starting point can be tricky. How dirty you feel comfortable with and how far you want to take it is up to you and your partner. As always with sex, communication is crucial. How dirty and possibly derogatory you want to go is very individual and should be discussed beforehand so no one is offended or taken out of the mood. Talking during sex can be an excellent way of exploring dominant and submissive roles between you and your partner. It is a great experiment if you are curious about these roles in sexual situations, or even beyond the bedroom.
Getting down and dirty when you talk it up in the bedroom, or out of it, can be a way to spice things up. Talk to your partner about what you like and what you want during sex and the satisfaction can only grow. So use your mouth for a little dirty talk between other, more sensual uses.