Sex with a great partner is a good time. Sex with a not so great partner…not always great. Some partners give us red flags that they are not the greatest sexual match. Here are a few of the big red flags to watch out for. You can save yourself heartache and potential bad sex.

• Body shaming

None of us are perfect. Those imperfections should not be fodder for ridicule from those you choose to share your body with. This is a huge red flag that your partner is not interested in making you feel comfortable. In or out of bed, not body shaming is basic respect.

• Kink shaming

If you are open and honest with a partner about your kinks or fantasies, and you get ridiculed for it, this is a huge red flag. There is a difference between a partner not being interested in what you are proposing and making fun of it. Even if they do not share your kink, they do not need to shame you for it.

• They don't care about your orgasm

If a partner is not interested in your orgasm, this is your sign to run the other way. You might not orgasm every time you have sex, but having a partner who does not care at all whether you do can be rough on your enjoyment of sex.

• They do not take feedback

Communication is key. If you helpfully direct a partner how to please you and it is met with embarrassment or worse anger, this is a red flag. It is fine if a partner is at first taken aback because they are not used to feedback, but that should fade over time and open up a channel for better communication during and about sex.

• They don't respect boundaries

No means no. Boundaries should be established and respected during sex and in relationships. Having your boundaries ignored or steamrolled is a giant red flag. Boundaries are healthy and should be respected by your partner. Stand up for your boundaries and leave any partner who does not respect them.

• Guilt trips or shame

Like ignoring boundaries, guilt and shame are red flags. Beyond sex, this may be a tool this partner uses to communicate on the whole. No one should make you feel guilt or shame about sex, especially a partner.

• Refusing to use protection

Safe sex is good sex. Being unwilling to protect your partner from STI's and pregnancy is a red flag. Whatever reason is given, if you want protection, you should get it.

• Refusing to discuss testing status

STI's can be serious business. If your potential partner does not want to talk about their testing status, they should not be a partner.

Red flags should not be ignored regarding potential sexual partners. Being able to trust a partner should be a big part of choosing who to have sex with. Choose wisely who you share your body with for more enjoyable sex and better relationships with partners.

Self

Bustle

Romper