Dominant and submissive relationships can be tricky. There is a lot of information out there, which means there is a lot of misinformation. Dom/sub relationships are at the heart of most BDSM scenes. Here are some beginner tips to getting started in BDSM with the basics of a healthy Dom/sub relationship.

Let's start with the most important part of the relationship, consent. Consent is at the core of every Dom/sub interaction. This consent is a matter of establishing limits, wants and needs, and the use of safe words. A lot of communication goes into a healthy Dom/sub relationship. This not only gives the sub room to relax knowing the Dom will stay within the predisposed rules of the relationship or particular scene, but let's the Dom know the parameters of the relationship or scene.

Being a Dom is more than just being bossy in bed. There are as many kinds of Dom as there are kinks out there. It is not just about punishment or pain, although there are those who enjoy those scenes. Doms can be caretakers as well. Roleplay can be a big part of Dom/sub relationships and different forms of sensory play are often involved.

Subs are not a powerless victim in these relationships. They are equal in power to the Dom, and in fact have the power to stop play all together with a word or a signal. They communicate with their Dom before, during, and after a scene to let them know what they want and need from the scene and what the hard limits are. Many people who enjoy being a sexual submissive are rather dominant in their other aspects of life. They enjoy giving up control in a sexual situation to a Dom they trust.

You and/or your partner can also function as a switch. This is someone who switches back and forth between Dominant and submissive. This is a good place for couples to start, as they can see which role more appeals to them in the dynamic. You and your partner can take turns giving simple orders or instructions and taking those orders or instructions. Play with bondage toys such as blindfolds or handcuffs. Explore spanking or more aggressive moves during sex. Whatever you do, keep in constant communication with your partner to ensure constant consent with each new aspect of the sexual relationship.

There are many kinds of Dom/sub relationships. They include but are not limited to bondage, Master/slave, Dom/brat, and caretaking. There are too many ways to be in a Dom/sub relationship to make an exhaustive list here. Do your research and find the dynamic that appeals to you and your partner.

A healthy Dom/sub relationship can help both partners explore their sexuality and open the door to kinks you can both enjoy. This exploration can open doors to your own sexuality and help you learn more about yourself and your partner.

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