Deep Penetration Pain
Tori Douglas on Dec 23rd 2019
Making sex comfortable and enjoyable for both partners should always be the goal. For many women, however, sex can be uncomfortable or even painful. Penetrative sex, with a penis or dildo, can sometimes be an issue. This problem goes beyond the physical pain and discomfort of the sexual act. Painful penetrative can cause negative emotional reactions to sex, and toward the partner or partners who are inadvertently causing pain to their sexual partner. For this reason, pain or discomfort should never be ignored, by you or your partners.
There are a wide variety of reasons why sex, especially deep penetrative sex, can be painful for women. This list includes, but is not limited to…
- Endometriosis
- Pelvic floor weakness or dysfunction
- Interstitial cystitis
- Fibroids
- Cancer treatment
- Post surgical or post pregnancy swelling and tenderness
- Menopause
The list goes on. Regardless of the reason for painful penetrative sex, there are steps that can be taken to make penetrative safe, comfortable and enjoyable for all involved.
As with any health condition, always consult with your health care provider regarding any concerns and issues involving painful sex. There could be one of the above listed or other issues causing pain or discomfort. Never be afraid to be open and honest about sexual or other issues with your doctor or health care professional. Your health and comfort should be a top priority for you and your partner or partners.
Discovering why and when there is pain can be a good first step. Does the pain occur with gynecological exams and with the use of tampons or menstrual cups? Does the pain occur when you or a partner insert a finger or fingers, and if so at what depth of penetration does it occur? Does the pain or discomfort come with any penetration or only with vigorous thrusting? Not only are these answers useful for your own sexual practice, they can guide your doctor toward a diagnosis. Taking the time to know yourself and your body's reactions is always important .
For women who have pain with penetrative sex, we have discussed before in the blog about techniques to stretch and strengthen the vaginal walls and pelvic floor.
See these articles for more information.
Sexual appliances can also be used to lessen penetration and make sex more comfortable and pleasurable for women who suffer from pain or discomfort during penetration. Sleeves or rings like the Ohnut and other models can be used to limit the level and depth of penetration. These devices can be used on a penis or dildo, and adjusted to the depth of penetration that is comfortable for both partners. When worn on the penis, it helps simulate the feeling of full penetration for the partner, while allowing the freedom to not feel like you are "holding back" when thrusting.
Check out your favorite Badd Kitty location and talk to the helpful staff about your options for appliances and sex toys that might not trigger pain or discomfort with use. Don't forget plenty of your favorite lubrication!
Your sexual life does not have to end just because of pain or discomfort. Raise your concerns with your healthcare provider, and explore your options for more comfortable and pleasurable sexual encounters.