On the Edge
Tori Douglas on Oct 18th 2021
Edging, or controlled orgasm, is a sexual technique used to prolong climax during sexual stimulation, alone or with a partner. In general, it is stimulation to the point just before orgasm, then backing off and slowing down, or stopping completely before orgasm is reached. This technique can be used in masturbation or with a partner. This process can be repeated before finally allowing the release of a more intense orgasm. Many people practice edging to not only enjoy prolonged sexual stimulation and prolonged pleasure, but also to seek out this more intense orgasm, taking varied amounts of time between sessions.
Edging is about exploring your sexual pleasure and the limits of your body in these sexual situations. See this article from Healthline.com. Bringing yourself right to the edge of orgasm before backing off can let you explore the sensations of pleasure. This practice is sometimes called surfing, peaking and teasing. You may find sexual or masturbation techniques you had previously not found pleasurable , but through “ holding off” , you can create great anticipation. Sexual pleasure is more than just crossing that finish line into orgasm. This lasting pleasure can feel quite different than rushing to orgasm. Whether edging alone or during partnered sex, let yourself feel all the sensations of pleasure for as long as possible, coming to that point of orgasm then moving away to other sensations like massage or other erogenous zones, or as stated, stopping sexual stimulation completely until the next edging session or the next orgasm, depending. You can also choose to stop completely and end the session without further stimulation. While this can sound frustrating it can be very intense for pleasure and eventual orgasm.
When practicing edging with a partner, the use of a safe word or signal of sorts can be helpful. Let your partner know you are close to orgasm with a word or signal. Do not use your actual safe word, as this can confuse things. See our article on safe words for more information. Decide beforehand on a word, phrase, or signal that means "I am close to orgasm, back off" to keep the lines of communication open during the edging session. Even keeping it as simple as "I'm close". As with all forms of partnered sex, communication is critical to pleasure.
Edging is safe and in some cases can be used to help in cases of premature ejaculation to "train" men to last longer before orgasm and prolong sex. Planning to prolong pleasure can help with premature ejaculation in the fact that the sexual experience will be drawn out by the very nature of edging. It can be used first by men during masturbation to get familiar with how to draw out pleasure without orgasm, then these techniques can be used during sex with a partner to both help the man last longer and help the partner gain more sexual pleasure.
Edging is just one way to explore the limits of pleasure, either alone or with a partner. Exploring your sexuality is almost guaranteed to help you find new ways to find pleasure alone or with a partner.