Our lives can get crazy sometimes. With work, school, and family it can get a bit overwhelming at times. All the more reason to have a special place to connect with your partner and have a little get away. Your own bedroom can be that get away with a little care and planning. So let's make a sexual oasis right in our own bedrooms.

• Unplug

Put the screens away, unless of course you are watching porn together to help get you in the mood. Putting phones away in the bedroom not only helps with sexual connection, it can help you sleep by limiting screen time in the hours leading up to bedtime. The bedroom should be an oasis for sleep and intimacy, not an office. So limit phone and tablet use in the bedroom if you can.

• Set the mood with music

Hearing is a sense that can be forgotten in the sexual arena. Using your favorite love songs to set that scene for sex can help tremendously. It can also help by giving a sensual memory the next time you hear a certain song. Make a Playlist for the bedroom together and play it when you are having intimate time, not just during sex.

• Set the scene with props.

Have clean sheets, and maybe even scent them with a sheet spray. Have your favorite toys nearby, clean, charged, and ready to go. Keep them in a cute bag or box just for your sex toys so they are discreet but available. Pick out lingerie together and have a fashion show. Light some candles and turn the lights low if that helps you get in the mood. Or have the lights on if that does it for you. Have a towel or wash cloths near at hand for cleanup. Basically think of anything you want or need and make it handy so you do not have to interrupt the intimacy before, during, or after.

• Do not forget aftercare

What do you and your partner want or need after sex? A drink, a snack, a cozy blanket to cuddle under? Have all those things ready for your aftercare needs so, again, you do not have to break the intimacy to get anything. Aftercare is not just for kink, but can be incorporated into any sexual practice as a way to come down from the high of sex.

• Set up sex dates

Scheduling sex may seem cold, but having some time carved out of your schedule to connect sexually can be beneficial. Knowing you have a certain block of time for you and your partner can help you establish sex as important and worth working into your busy schedule. It is something to look forward to and plan for to grow and strengthen your relationship.

• Have a post game talk

What was good, what was great, what was ok but let's not try it again. You are in your safe space that you created, so be safe to talk about how the sex was or what you want to try out in the future.

Your bedroom is a sanctuary and should be treated as such. Keep these tips in mind as you create that intimate space for you and your partner.

Engaged Marriage

Kinkly

AARP