Tori Douglas on May 23rd 2023
Self esteem is important to your mental health. Sex esteem can be just as important. Sex esteem is the way you feel about your sexual identity and sexuality, as well as how you function sexually. From feeling sexy in your own skin, to having sexual dysfunction, sex esteem can effect you in many ways. Lack of desire, difficulty with erection or orgasm or pain with sex can effect our general well being. Sex esteem is a complex web of how you feel about your sex and sexuality.
Poor sexual function can be distressing. This is especially true for younger people, as these kinds of sexual dysfunction are usually associated with age. Anyone of any age can suffer from these kinds of sexual dysfunction, and it can be a big blow to how we view ourselves as sexual beings and people on the whole. Studies are now showing that low sexual esteem negatively effect our sex lives in a profound way.
Sexual esteem is more than how you feel you perform in bed. It is the culmination of your sexual life. It is how you feel about sex in general and your own personal sexuality. It is both a macro view and the micro view that forms our thoughts and esteem. This can include any trauma such as sexual abuse, any time you felt victimized as well as your general sexual health. Conversely, it can be times when you felt sexually powerful, promiscuous or any sort of sexual behaviors. All of these feelings and experiences shape your sexuality. One big factor is culture. Cultures that associate sex and sexuality with shame or taboo can affect us profoundly in terms of our sexual esteem. Even in these modern times, shame over sexuality is prominent for women and the LGBTQ community. Feeling as if your sexuality is dirty or wrong can cripple sexual esteem.
Our self esteem and sex esteem are intrinsically linked. How we feel about ourselves and our image of ourselves is always going to effect how we feel about sex and our own sexuality. It is far easier to feel sexy and attractive if you have a positive view of yourself. Working on one kind of esteem automatically boosts the other. Practice boosting both your sex esteem and your self esteem with positive self care. Loving and caring for yourself can be hard, but the rewards are astronomical.
Masturbation can be the most literal form of self love. Masturbation is important to self love because you are getting to know yourself while giving your body what it needs in the form of sexual release. This will not solve all of your sexual problems, but learning about your own body and how it responds to pleasure alone can give you confidence with a partner. Especially if you feel shame about sex, experimenting with your own body can give you the confidence to share yourself with a partner in a more relaxed and open way.
We all could benefit from a boost in sexual esteem. Having a positive view of your own sexuality is a great boost to your general well being. Practice looking at yourself in a positive way in light of your sexuality, and enjoy your own sexuality before you share it with others. Something just as simple as positive affirmation statements can also help you form positive feelings around your sex esteem that can carry over into great sexual relationships.