How to use a butt plug: choose a small silicone or metal plug with a flared base, use plenty of thick lube, breathe out as you ease it in slowly, start with 10 to 20 minutes, and stop if anything hurts.

By the Badd Kitty boutique team · Updated October 2026

Key takeaways

• Start small: a first plug should be about finger width, under 1 inch at its widest point.
• Flared base, always: the base must be much wider than the bulb so the plug cannot slip inside.
• Lube generously: the anus makes no lubrication of its own. Use a thick water-based lube, and reapply whenever you feel drag.
• No numbing products: pain is the signal that tells you to slow down or stop.
• Short first sessions: 10 to 20 minutes, then build up. Never sleep in a plug.

How your body works (and why slow matters)

The anus is the last few centimeters of the digestive tract, closed by two ring-shaped muscles. The external sphincter is the one you can squeeze and relax on purpose. The internal sphincter is involuntary: you can't relax it on command (Cleveland Clinic).

That is why the best technique is gentle, steady pressure and patience. Press the tip against the opening, breathe out, and wait. Most people feel the muscles soften after a few slow breaths. Pushing harder, or feeling anxious, makes the muscles tighten, which is when things hurt.

The lining inside is also thin and delicate, which makes it easier to tear, and it does not lubricate itself (Cleveland Clinic). Lube and time are not optional extras. They are the whole method.

Choosing your first butt plug

Look at the diameter at the widest point of the bulb, not the length. Width is what your sphincters feel. Length mostly changes where you feel pressure. Use this ladder, and only move up a step when the current size goes in easily every time.

Sizes come from each maker's listing. If a plug only lists "small, medium, large", ask us for the measurements before you buy.

Material: silicone, metal or glass

Choose a non-porous material. Silicone, stainless steel or aluminum, and glass can all be cleaned properly. Porous materials such as rubber, vinyl, nylon and leather may not be body-safe (WebMD).

• Silicone is soft, warms to your body and is the most forgiving first choice. The Tantus Neo ($38.95) is a smoothly tapered silicone plug with a base curved to sit between the cheeks.
• Metal feels heavier and fuller at the same width, and it holds warmth or cool for temperature play. The Rear Assets Tapered Plug Small ($19.95) is lightweight aluminum and works with every lube.
• Glass is rigid and very smooth. Choose thick, tempered glass made for intimate use.

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The flared base rule

A safe plug has three parts: a tapered tip, a bulb, and a narrow neck that ends in a base much wider than the bulb. The base stays outside your body. Your sphincters close around the neck and hold the plug in place.

The rectum can draw objects inward. Anal toys need a flared base "to prevent them from being taken in by the anus" (WebMD). Hospitals see the result when people ignore this. A Swedish study of emergency records found that retained rectal objects were becoming more common, that sex toys were overrepresented among cases needing open surgery, and that the problem is likely preventable (Dahlberg et al., 2019). Never use a household object, a dildo without a flared base, or anything that could break.

Prep and hygiene

1. Go to the bathroom 30 minutes or so before, then shower or wipe with unscented wipes. The rectum is usually close to empty when you don't need to go.
2. Douching is optional. If you do it, use plain warm water, only an inch or two inside. Frequent douching can irritate and thin the lining (Cleveland Clinic).
3. Trim and file your nails if you'll use fingers to warm up.
4. Set up: a towel, lube, and the plug washed and dry. Put a condom over the plug if you want faster cleanup.
5. Never move a plug from the anus to the vagina or mouth without washing it or changing the condom. Don't share a plug without cleaning it in between.

Which lube to use (and why not numbing cream)

Use a thick water-based lube for every plug material. JO Anal Thick (from $19.95) is a cushioned water-based formula made for anal play. Silicone lube lasts longer and doesn't dry out, which helps for longer wear. It suits metal and glass plugs: try pjur analyse me! silicone ($39.95). On a silicone plug, check the maker's guidance or patch-test first, because silicone and oil-based lubes can make silicone toys degrade faster (WebMD).

Skip numbing gels and desensitizers. They don't make your body more ready. They just hide the pain that tells you to slow down, so you can push past a tear without noticing. WebMD gives the same advice: numbing creams "will prevent you from feeling when your body wants you to stop." If a plug hurts, go smaller, add lube, or wait longer. Our best lube for anal guide compares the formulas we stock.

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How to insert a butt plug, step by step

1. Get relaxed and aroused first. Arousal relaxes the body. Many people start with a warm shower, some solo play or a partner's attention.
2. Pick a position. Lying on your side with your top knee pulled up is the easiest. On your back with knees to chest, or squatting, also work.
3. Warm up with a finger. Lube one finger and rest it at the opening. Breathe out and let it slip in. This tells you how much pressure feels right.
4. Lube the plug and the opening well. Use more than you think you need.
5. Press the tip in gently while you breathe out. Hold steady pressure for a few breaths and let the muscles open. Don't jab.
6. Ease past the widest point. This is the moment of most stretch. If it won't go, pull back a little, add lube and try again. Rock the plug in small circles or in and out a little. Never force it.
7. Let it settle. Once the bulb is past, your muscles close around the neck and the plug feels much easier. Check that the base sits flat against you.
8. Check in with your body. Fullness and pressure are normal. Sharp, burning or growing pain is not, so take it out.

How to take a butt plug out

1. Relax and breathe out, the same as going in.
2. Hold the base firmly. Pull slowly and steadily, and bear down very gently as if you are having a bowel movement.
3. If you feel resistance at the widest point, pause, add lube around the base, and try again.
4. Wash the plug straight away.

How long can you leave a butt plug in?

For beginners, start with 10 to 20 minutes. Build up slowly as your body gets used to it. There is no medical standard for an exact maximum, and makers differ: some advise about 30 minutes at a time, others up to 2 or 3 hours. WebMD warns that long periods can cause discomfort, tissue damage or ulcers (WebMD).

Three reasons time matters:

• Pressure: the bulb and neck press on the same tissue the whole time. Short breaks let blood flow return.
• Lube fades: water-based lube absorbs and dries. A dry plug drags and chafes on the way out.
• Muscle fatigue: your sphincters hold the plug all the time it is in. Tired muscles feel sore later.

Our staff's rules of thumb, not medical limits:

Can you sleep with a butt plug in? No. Asleep, you can't feel the warning signs, and the lube dries out over a night. Take it out at once if you notice numbness, cramping, sharp pain or bleeding. Weighted plugs like the b-Vibe Snug Plug 1 ($55.95) are shaped for longer wear, but "longer" still means hours awake, not overnight.

Anal training kits: sizing up safely

A training kit gives you graduated plugs, so each step is small. The Curve Gossip Rump Rockers ($29.95) are silicone at 0.875, 1 and 1.25 inches wide. The Rear Assets Trainer Kit ($38.95) is the aluminum version.

• Stay with each size until it goes in easily over several sessions, not just once.
• Warm up with the smaller plug before moving to the next one in the same session.
• Rest a day or two between longer sessions.
• Training is about relaxing, not stretching by force. If you feel sore the next day, go back down a size.

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Cleaning and storing your plug

• Wash after every use with warm water and mild unscented soap or a toy cleaner. Scrub the neck and base, where lube collects.
• Boiling: solid silicone and steel without motors can be boiled for up to 10 minutes (WebMD). Check the maker's instructions first, and never boil a toy with a motor or battery.
• Vibrating plugs: wipe them down, or rinse only if the maker says they are waterproof.
• Dry fully and store each plug in its own pouch so silicone toys don't touch each other.

We cover every material in our guide to cleaning sex toys. Browse toy cleaners here.

When to stop, and when to see a doctor

Some pressure and a "need to go" feeling are normal. Stop straight away if you feel sudden, sharp or shooting pain. Cleveland Clinic advises going to an emergency room if that pain doesn't settle within 30 minutes. See a doctor for heavy bleeding, or bleeding an hour or more after play (Cleveland Clinic). If a plug ever gets stuck or slips inside, go to an emergency department. Don't try to fish it out with tools. If you have hemorrhoids, fissures or a bowel condition, ask your doctor before using plugs. This guide is general information from a retailer, not medical advice.

Keep exploring

Ready to pick a plug? Our best butt plugs guide ranks what we stock by experience level, and how to use lube covers amounts and toy compatibility. Curious about prostate play? Read best prostate massagers. Couples can read our pegging and strap-on guide next. Every order ships in plain packaging, with free standard shipping over $75, or ask our team in any of our seven boutiques.

Sources

1. Cleveland Clinic, "Anus: Function, Anatomy, Conditions & Diagram"
2. Cleveland Clinic, "Is Anal Sex Safe?" (2022)
3. WebMD, "Butt Plugs: What You Should Know" (medically reviewed 2026)
4. Dahlberg M. et al., "Retained sex toys: an increasing and possibly preventable medical condition," International Journal of Colorectal Disease, 2019